yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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