What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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