I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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