It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
