Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
My ass is underappreciated
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
