naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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