i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
