Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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