this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
