they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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