We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
