Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
