After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
