Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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