Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
