Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
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