Yo dont text me then not text me
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
