can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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