I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
