can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
