She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
My vagina is officially offended.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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