just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
