did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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