fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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