Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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