I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Randomize
