I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
