What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Randomize
