when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
