DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
be right there i have to get my cape
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
