i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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