Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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