So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
