he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
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