Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
