i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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