I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
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