I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
