Don't you send me to vm
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
