I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
