eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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