dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
foreskin is a definite game changer
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
