The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Randomize
