She is in my trunk
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
