I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
