i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize
