yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
