I will die if light touches me.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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