I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
you would pick up someone in the library
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Randomize
