I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i just sent this text using only my big toe
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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