Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
