He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Just fell off a train. Bad.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
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