Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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